Getting through life, infertility, pregnancy and motherhood one kiss at a time.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Our Little Pumpkin!

Halloween at the McLaughlin house was pretty much a non-event, but Sean did dress up as an adorable little pumpkin, and we got some wonderful pictures of him.

Enjoy!















Birth Story (only a month late)

Sorry this is so late, but I thought I'd get it all down on paper, and it has taken quite a bit of time.

After my 38 week (and 5 day) OB appointment on Friday(10/3), I had a number of questions about getting induced, as I had been extra uncomfortable for several weeks. I had an internal and I was at 1cm dilated, and was ripe for induction. All the previous week, I was getting up every 1-1.5 hours, and that was on 2 percocet, and 1-2 ambien per night. I was ready to have this baby, and it felt wonderful to be able to start discussing inducing within the next 10 days (sometime before my Oct. 12 due date). Anyways, I decided to wait to set an induction date until my next appointment for the good of my little boy, well my little boy had other plans.

On Saturday (10/4) I woke up feeling extremely emotional, and tired, so DH decided we would have a day in with no errands, and it was really wonderful to just rest. DH had to pick up a medicine prescription for himself, and we decided to get some Chipotle before watching the CU v. Texas football game. I got something spicy, half joking with DH that it would send me into labor. Well after we got home and ate, the contractions started. So DH decided to start timing them, and they quickly became over 1.5-2 minutes in length, and were coming every 12 minutes to start, and moved to every 3-8 minutes. After a couple hours of timing, DH decided that we were probably on our way to L&D, so he got the hospital bag list that we wrote weeks earlier, and we FINALLY packed the hospital bag. We then called the OB, and let him know about the contractions, and he wanted me to come in immediately for a labor check. Off to the hospital we go. I have to say something told me that they wee just going to send me home, so I wasn't getting my hopes up.

When we got there it was already 10pm, and I got checked pretty quickly, and found out that I was only 1-2 cm dilated, but my contractions were of irregular intensity, but just as frequent as DH and I had been timing. We had the option to stay and walk for an hour, or go home immediately, and we chose to walk. After an hour I was checked again, with no change. The OB sent us home at 1:30am, and told me to go ahead and take my nightly meds of 2 percocet, and an ambien so that I could get some rest. I was told to return if the pain got worse, and boy did it!

All night long, every hour I got up to pee, and each time I was in excruciating pain, but each time I was able to get a bit of sleep. At 6:30am, I woke up and once again did the bathroom run in pain, and came back and laid down. I was in A LOT of pain. I couldn't fall back to sleep, and it was a constant pain that didn't seem time-able. I woke DH up at 7:30 in tears of pain. The pain was significantly worse, and DH threw clothes on both of us and got us in the car and headed back to L&D. I was in SUCH EXTREME pain, they got me into triage very fast, and I was checked almost immediately. I was at 3-4 cm, and I was having very regular strong contractions every 3-4 minutes. I was -1 station, and 80% effaced. The nurse was unsure of Sean's position in the womb, so they do a quick ultrasound to make sure that he was head down, and find that he is, but facing to my right. My IV fluids were started, and the first round of antibiotics were started because I was Group B Strep+. They admitted us and got us in a room by 9:45am. I was dealing with the shakes during every contraction, the nurse said that it was due to the stress and anxiety of labor rather than the temperature in the building. Deep breaths were the only way to control the shakes.

By 10:15am the nurse gave me a dose of Staedol while waiting for the anesthesiologist to get out of a c-section, so that I could get my epidural. Staedol felt wonderful, and allowed me to relax more easily through the pain of the contractions that were coming every 2 minutes or so. Felt like a warm blanket being placed over my whole body. By 10:30am I was checked again right before receiving the epidural, and was a solid 4cm dilated. At 11:00am the anesthesiologist came in to do the epidural. It took him about 15-20 minutes to get it in properly, and then another 15 minutes for the pain to subside. My DH actually got to help hold me in place during the procedure which was a real surprise because he HATES blood and needles. At 11:40am I was checked again, still 4cm dilated, decision was made to break my water. I was told to rest at this point, and that it could be a little while before I was fully dilated. I think it hit me right about this point that I was actually going to have my baby that day, and they weren't going to just send me home like a crazy person. I remember a little sign on the wall saying "10/5 Happy Birthday Sean" it was really very surreal, and I remember asking my nurse if she thought that Sean was really going to come before midnight, she was pretty sure he would be here before the end of her shift at 8pm. Once I got over the realization, I decided to take a nap.

At 12:45pm the nurse came in to monitor my contractions, they seemed to be coming every minute at that point. The nurse told me that if she were on pitocin they would probably have turned it down because of how frequent the contractions are coming. Around 1:15pm the doctor was unsure of the quality of the contractions that I was having, so he decided to insert a pressure monitor catheter to get a better idea of the quality of my contractions. This results in a "geyser" and 2nd water break. By 1:45pm the doctor determined that the quality of the contractions was not as good as he would hope with as many as I was having, so he ordered a "whiff of pit" which was the smallest dose of pitocin that could be administered. I was then monitored very closely by the nurse to make sure that the contractions were doing what they are supposed to be doing. The contractions were doing a lot better, but the pitocin needed to be turned up just one more notch it order to get the contractions to be perfect.

At 3:00pm the doctor came to check me again. I was Fully dilated, +1 station, fully effaced. Sean was still slightly to my right, so doctor told me to lay on my right side, and that we would start pushing in about 30 minutes whether or not he had returned. By 3:30pm the nurse explained to DH and I the procedure for pushing. I took only one practice push. The nurse then told me to just relax, and she would be back really soon to do some real pushing.

At exactly 3:40pm the real pushing starts. I could feel the pressure with each contraction, so I was able to tell everyone when I needed to push which was about every 2 minutes (3 pushes of 10 seconds each per contraction). The nurse quickly called the doctor as well as the rest of the delivery team. I only screamed through the last two pushes when the ring of fire feeling was present, and at exactly 3:57pm, Sean was born.

I didn't get to see his face for about 20 minutes, but I could hear those beautiful lungs. Sean was wisked across the room to be checked out by the NICU team for respiratory distress from all of the narcotic pain meds that I needed to be on for half the pregnancy for the kidney stone. Within about 5 minutes, the NICU team had given Sean 9-9 on his apgar scores, and told us that he was in perfect health. DH told me that the first thing Sean did as the NICU team was checking him out was to pee ALL over the place, it made Bri crack up, and the NICU team frantically look for a diaper. Anyways, Sean measured in at 7lbs 15.4 oz, and 19 inches long (although within a week he had already grown an inch, so we are pretty sure that it wasn't that accurate).

As for me, I received a 2nd degree tear, and it took a while to stitch me back up. I have been healing very well over the last few weeks, and we have all settled in as a family here at home.

Friday, October 10, 2008

He is Here!!!

Sorry I hadn't updated sooner, its been a very uncomfortable couple of weeks, and honestly I didn't want to complain too much about it.

Anyways, on to the good stuff!!! Sean Patrick McLaughlin was born Sunday October 5, 2008 at 3:57pm. He weighed 7lbs 15oz and was 19 inches long.

I had a very quick labor and only pushed for a total of 17 minutes, and through about 9 contractions. I'll have to post the birth story a bit later, because I have a little one keeping me very busy now. Brian and I have to try and recreate it, because just as we had settled in enough to write out some of the notes about what was going on during labor, we were told it was time to push.

In the mean time, how about some pictures??? ;-)


Monday, September 1, 2008

34w1d... Labor Day Weekend and Outside Belly Pics!!

Hi everyone! Well as I promised, I have uploaded some belly pictures. Well as some of you know my husband Brian is quite the amateur photographer. This is his first set of maternity pictures. Brian still wants to do some inside pictures as soon as we have our basement back in order, so I'll put those up as soon as we take them. Here are 5 of my favorites, Brian really did a great job of making me feel beautiful in all of the pictures that he took.










As for the rest of the holiday weekend, Brian and I had a WONDERFUL weekend. On Friday, I was incredibly surprised at work that they threw me a shower. I really didn't think that they were going to since I haven't been in work since the beginning of June. I was incredibly touched by all of the people that showed up, and all of the people that put effort into it. We were given an incredibly generous Babies'R'Us gift card that helped us to buy the majority of everything we still needed for our little one to show up. Oh and Brian surprised me with a brand new point and shoot camera, so that I could take tons of quick pics of Sean.

On Sunday Brian and I went and got pedicures, which was incredibly fabulous, especially since I can no longer reach my toes. It was so nice that Brian was willing to go with me, we found a nice little place that is brand new, and I am pretty sure we will go back there soon. Right after we finished there, Bri and I headed over to Babies'R'Us, and spent $60 on nearly $400 worth of still needed gear. We had saved up all of our gift cards and coupons and used them all in one shot. Its official... with the exception of our crib which still needs to arrive... Sean can come and has what he needs.

Today, other than the picture session, Brian and I worked on putting a bunch of stuff away in the nursery, and it really looks wonderful, as soon as we get the crib in there I will make sure to take pictures of everything so that everyone can see it. Sean has diapers, wipes, clothes, etc. and everything has its place for now. I just need to wash a bunch of items, and pack my hospital bag, and then there won't be much left to do.

Tomorrow is our breastfeeding class which should be a lot of fun!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

33w3d... Appointments!

So today Brian and I had a regular OB appointment, and another ultrasound to check on Sean's growth.

Well the OB appointment was just fine, my blood pressure is still great, and I finally gained a little weight. The OB said that I will have my first internal and Group B strep test at my next appointment in two weeks, that should be exciting. I am praying for progress!

Then, Bri and I headed over for our growth scan... that was eventful. Sorry no pictures this time, his head is very low in my pelvis busy stretching me out, in what the ultrasound tech called the "launch" position. I am 33.5 weeks pregnant this week, and Sean is easily measuring 35 weeks already, he is 5lbs. Oye... he is gonna be a big boy. They did say they could tell that he has a full head of hair, which some people had been guessing from his previous ultrasounds.

I'll have a longer update soon with pictures from my WONDERFUL baby shower this past weekend. It was a blast, and Brian and I recieved so many wonderful things, we just can't get over our friends generosity.

Also for all of those people asking for belly pics, even though I am hesitant to show off too much skin, Brian is going to attempt his first shot at maternity pics this weekend. Assuming all goes well, I'll have some pics to show off early next week.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

31w4d.... Pictures(and Sounds) Finally!!!

Sorry for the long delay, but the basement is still torn up, and we are still down a scanner. Luckily I have a wonderful friend who was able to scan the ultrasound pic for me, THANKS DB!

Also today I had another OB appointment, where the doc checked the heartbeat, my weight and my blood pressure. Blood pressure is still great as always, I still haven't gained a pound since getting pregnant, and the heartbeat was as beautiful as ever. Just click the picture below for our ultrasound pic, as well as a recording of Sean's heartbeat from today's appointment.

As for me, well I woke up out of a percocet/ambien sleep in pain last night, but decided to try to go back to sleep since I knew I already had a scheduled doctors appointment today. I am definitely getting more and more sore and tired. I actually told the OB today that I am ready for this pregnancy to be done, she said she would prefer if he cooked for at least another month, then we could talk. She understands/sympathizes with my pain, so I know that she will do whats best for both me and Sean. Let's just say that I haven't had the easiest pregnancy, and although I am eternally grateful to be pregnant, it is getting old, and I am getting sore and tired.

Anyways, in other news we have gotten a start on the nursery, after my family painted, we put up our changing table, and we put a closet unit together so that we could actually start putting things away. We got the call yesterday that our glider had arrived at Babies'R'Us, and we are making a plan to go and pick it up. The crib should be in by the end of the month, and then all that will be left is to bring Sean home! Of course that means we have to finish a whole bunch of other little projects before we are really ready for him to be home.

Ok, more later, but for now enjoy a little picture and sound courtesy of Sean!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

29w3d... It's my birthday!!!

Its my 26th birthday!!! I got a wonderful present of seeing my little boy today in an ultrasound. He is nearly 3lbs already, and has adorable chubby cheeks. I'll get everyone a picture as soon as I can but our scanner is out of commission for about a week. I promise he is a cutie though. They did take a quick look at my kidney, and the stone is still there big as ever.

Brian took me over to a tiny little bakery in Annapolis that we found a few months back for me to pick out my birthday dessert. He also took me for a sushi dinner(with doctors permission). It was heaven. I have been so good this whole pregnancy that just 2 pieces of raw tuna and 2 pieces of raw salmon were some of the best sushi I had ever had.

We were going to come home and have a quiet evening and have some birthday dessert, however, as always, plans change and we adapt. We got a call at the end of dinner that was asking to schedule a major basement repair that we need done to start tomorrow morning. Considering we REALLY need this repair completed, we were very hesitant to push it off to another time, so we came right home and we (well, Brian) worked on moving the final items in the basement for a couple hours. We will continue my birthday celebration tomorrow, and have our yummy desserts then.

So what huge basement repairs could cause such commotion, you might ask? Well due to basement flooding... through the floor, we have to get the entire french drain system replaced around all 4 walls in our basement. Its a huge and expensive repair, but it must be done. It will take three days to do the repair, and another three days for the cement to completely dry. So by the end of next week we can have the carpet replaced, and the basement will be all fixed. It will be nice to have our house back.

Another big item that has been worked on lately, is that my family has just finished painting Sean's nursery. As soon as we get a chance I'll start posting pics of the nursery progress since it will come together pretty quickly at this point.

Love to all and I promise to get a picture update ASAP.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

27w 4d... Wow its been a while... LONG Update

Wow.... I am officially in the third trimester.

I guess I need to give everyone an update on whats been up with me over the past month. Well its all about getting used to a new normal.

First of all for those that don't already know, we released the name of our little boy. He is officially Sean Patrick McLaughlin. He is also really beautiful. We had another ultrasound on
July 2nd, and the little one is so incredibly gorgeous. We got several 3-D pics of him, and there was at least one that looked just like Bri, and another pic that really resembled my family, so who knows who he will look like in the end. They told us that he already weighed 2lbs at that appointment, and that was 2 weeks ago. He was also measuring 3 days ahead of his expected size. I think we have a big boy coming our way, everyone keeps guessing that he will be in the 9lb range when he is born, I don't know how I feel about all that, but as long as he is healthy then I'll take it.


Second, Brian, my sister and I took a trip to Charlotte, NC over the 4th of July to see his family for the last time before Sean arrives, and take my sister to her final college visit. It was nice to see everyone, and it was such a fun trip. The family threw me a baby shower while we were down there, and we received a bunch of cute outfits, as well as our Pack'n'Play, diaper genie, and a beautiful solar system mobile. We were so incredibly blessed to have so many people excited for us to have our own baby. One incredibly speacial memory from the trip for me was when my niece was talking to me about baby Sean, and she wanted to brush baby Sean's hair, she gave baby Sean a kiss, and put her ear up to my belly to listen to baby Sean. It was such an incredible feeling knowing that even a 2.5 year old understands that we are going to have a baby, and she is so excited about it.




Well, I guess I should get down to my health... I am doing as ok as can be expected. I am still on percocet every 5 hours, and have been for over a month now. Since being in the hospital, I have been seeing the OB every week, just so that they can keep a close eye on me, my pain and our little Sean. So far, Sean is doing wonderfully(as mentioned above), and I am going in for monthly growth scan ultrasounds to keep an eye on him to make sure that he continues to grow as expected. Every time I go into the OB, I know I am a special case... there is one doc that really understands what is going on without us explaining the whole situation, and we have been seeing her a lot, however, we have had a couple other appointments with other docs in the practice since being in the hospital, and each time we have had to explain why we are being seen so often, and whats going on with us. I know that there really isn't a ton that they can do for me, but its frustrating when they can't read my chart BEFORE they come talk to me.

I am also seeing a urologist once a month, mostly to do urine cultures, and to make a plan to remove the stone after Sean is here. It sounds like they can't do any procedures until around 2 weeks after the birth, which of course is frustrating, because it will come right in the middle of the bonding, and the first couple weeks or Sean's life will be full of doctors appointments and surgery for me. That is really hard to accept, and I am trying very hard to work through all of my emotions.

Today I saw a pain management specialist for the first time, it was such a waste of my time. I do know that my OB said that I would need a plan to get off the pain meds after the stone is out, but really I feel like he didn't do anything except take my money, and treat me like I might try to sell my pain meds on the street... it felt great. I will have to see him everytime I need a med refill now... at $40 a pop... what a frustration.

I guess my health is just a big waiting game at this point. Oh yeah, and I am not allowed to work at all. The doctor thinks that it would be too stressful for me to be working in a technical field with my incredibly slow response time. I have had a couple breakdowns over the last couple weeks wondering if I will ever be able to do my job again, or ever be able to think technically again. Its hard when I should know the answer to something off the top of my head that I just cannot recall, and its like my mind just has a huge block. Brian keeps reminding me that it is all temporary, and I will be my old self soon enough. I guess only time will tell.

Oh my, what else.... over the past month, Brian and I have been trying to make progress on several house projects, starting with repairing the leaks in the basement. Well we thought that it would be a pretty simple fix, and while it may have been pretty simple, it seems that it isn't as simple as we had thought, and we are going to have to get a serious professional out to fix the problem. This means that we are going to have to proceed with the nursery painting and such even without finishing the basement. We figure we are going to need to have a place for Sean before too long, so it is getting higher and higher on our priority list.

Oh yeah, my other sister came and stayed with Brian and I for about a week and a half, to help with our house projects. While she was here she created a number of art pieces for Sean's nursery. They are so incredibly beautiful, and so appropriate for what Brian and I do in real life. She painted a sunrise over the earth, a pair of merging galaxies, a supernovae, and the Orion nebula. They are really remarkable.





Wow that was a lot of information for one post.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

22w3d... Hospitalized... Scary Couple of Days

I apologize in advance for any spelling and grammar errors, as I am hopped up on serious pain killers.

On Sunday night, I was having serious back pain, and blood in my urine, so I called the on call OB, and was told over the phone that I probably had a bladder infection, and that they were going to call in some antibiotics that should clear it right up. Well, DH put me to bed, and went to get my meds. Well, I took my meds, and fell asleep, but slept terribly. I stayed home from work on Monday, trying to help myself heal.

At about 8pm on Monday night, I had another bout of serious back pain, and still had blood in my urine, even after being on the antibiotics for 24-hours. Well I called the on-call OB again, and she decided to have me come in to L&D and get a urine sample, and to double check for a possible small kidney stone(she didn't think this would be the case.) Well after my urine came back with no bacteria in it, she decided to send me down for a renal ultrasound. We got a very quick look at our little boy. He was waving at us as if to let us know that he was still perfect. Anyways after that, it was pretty obvious that I had a stone in my right kidney, but the tech didn't tell us anything else at that point. Well when the OB came to tell me the results, she revealed that it was the biggest kidney stone she had ever seen, just over 2 centimeters. She also said that she was going to admit me into the antipartum unit until a urologist was able to assess the stone.

Well I was in the hospital from Monday evening till today at noon. Basically, I have a massive kidney stone that will NOT pass on its own. If I weren't pregnant they would shock pulverize it and it would turn into powder/smaller pieces, and I would expel them (painfully I might add). Anyways, they can't do that before our little boy is born.

So for the rest of the pregnancy they can only manage the pain, meaning that I will be on percocet/every 4 hours and an antibiotic/ 1 per day. Unfortunately that means that I can't drive for the remainder of the pregnancy, or whenever I am on the percocet. The OB asked that I should get my disability paperwork from work, and start my disability leave now, through 6-8 weeks post-partum. I am not on bedrest (at this point), but I am supposed to take it easy because of the narcotics.

Well I am sure I have regaled you all with enough info for a while, but I figured that I'd update everyone. I also found out that The NEST and my blog are blocked from the hospital internet. I'll be blogging a lot more in the future, since I'll have less to do.

BTW, if anyone else has had to deal with anything even CLOSE to any of this I would LOVE to hear from you. There was SO much information that I had to take in during the last few days, I am a bit overwhelmed.

Thanks for making it through the long story.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

20w3d... IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

IT'S A BOY!!! We are so incredibly excited. It was very cool to see him in both 2-D and 3-D.


This is a picture of our little one's face. Look at that cute little nose!


Here is what we call the paparazzi picture. He has his hands right up in front of his face as if to say, "Don't take my picture!".


Here is another picture where you can see the body profile. You can see the head, the arm, the ribs, and the legs.

We are absolutely in love with our little, beautiful baby boy!!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

20w1d... Over halfway there...

I had my doubts along the way that we would make it as far as we have, but we are here. On Wednesday we will get to see our little one again, and hopefully find out if it is a boy or a girl. Not that it matters what we are having, but we are incredibly excited just to see the baby again.

Well Bri and I have had a wonderful long Memorial Day weekend. On Friday we went to the mall, and I got a pedicure, which was heavenly. I have needed that all winter, and now that it is flip-flop season I really needed it. Then Brian and I went to see "Baby Mama", it was hysterical! We loved it. After the movie Brian and I went and registered at Babies'R'Us! We loved walking around the store picking items that would be perfect for our baby. It was really wonderful. We has also started another registry at another very popular specialty store local to us called "Great Beginnings"(www.greatbeginningsonline.com). Between these two registries we feel that we have covered all of the basics that our little one needs, although considering we are new if any of you know of something that we are missing, let us know.

On Saturday, Brian and I went to a local sci-fi convention. It was a first for us, but we really had a great time with some of our friends from work. On Sunday, we set up our brand new grill, and Brian made us some wonderful burgers and corn. Today we went and bought ourself some outdoor furniture. We actually feel like we are enjoying our backyard for the first time again.

I hope all of you have enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

18w6d... Busy week!

Thursday was a big day...

Bri and I had a great OB appointment. Our little one has a great heartbeat, somewhere in the 140s. The baby kept moving away as soon as the doppler got even close to it, it was cute. We LOVED the OB we saw this visit! She is very young, probably no older than Brian, but incredibly knowledgeable and very kind. We would really like her to deliver our little one... I guess we will just have to wait and see who is on call that day. Two more weeks till we find out if it is a boy or girl!

Second big news... As some of you know I have been growing out my hair to donate it to a breast cancer charity (Beautiful Lengths) for a couple years now. The back story for those who don't know, I have wanted to donate my hair for some time, but never got around to doing it. Well almost a couple years ago I decided to grow my hair longer. Around New Years 2007, I decided that my resolution would be to grow it out long enough to donate it. Well as you all know a lot has happened in those last two years, and I have gotten close to cutting it many times, but never managed to convince myself to do it. Well thursday I decided it was time to cut it. I have a completely new look, and I LOVE it. I managed to get three pony tails out of the hair that was cut off. Two of them were over 12 inches long, and one of them was 8 inches long. I had Brian come and document the whole thing in pictures, so enjoy!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

18w2d... Belly Pics

Ok, so since I have had a million people asking for them, I asked Bri to take a belly pic of me on Mother's Day. So right before bed, we shot this little number.

Well I can't say I feel like I am showing to anyone other than myself and Brian, but I suppose I am. I just feel like I look big, but I think its time to admit it, I am pregnant. I have started wearing maternity clothes almost exclusively. I have a great friend who lent me a bunch of outfits which should help get me through at least some of this pregnancy.

On my first Mother's Day :-) Brian made it incredibly memorable for me... thank you sweetie! Brian took me out for breakfast, and cooked a big dinner for my entire family. well at breakfast, the diner was handing out flowers to all of the Mom's that came through. Well without saying anything, they handed me a rose saying it was for the Mom-to-be. I could have jumped up and down and kissed the VERY greek old man. I am showing!!!

Well I seem to have gained a little weight back from the 8+ lbs. that I lost in the first trimester. I think I have gained 4lbs, which would still put me down 4 lbs.

Well, we have an OB appointment on Thursday morning, I'll update more after that.

In the mean time.... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

17 weeks!!!

We bought a crib yesterday!!! It is beautiful, picture below.

Here is also a picture of our bedding. We have had it for a LONG time, since our first miscarriage.





We can't believe how big this little one has gotten...
From BabyCenter:

Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and he's around 5 inches long. The umbilical cord, his lifeline to the placenta, is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby can move his joints, and his skeleton — until now, rubbery cartilage — is starting to harden into bone. Some of it will remain cartilage for years after he's born. A newborn's skeleton has 300 parts (a combination of bone and cartilage). As your child grows, some of these parts harden and fuse together. By the time your baby reaches adulthood, he'll have just 206 bones.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

16w4d... Lots of Updates

Updates... Updates... so MANY updates...

1) I passed the glucose test! I will have to re-take the test between 24-28 weeks, but for now... I passed!

2) I felt the baby!!! It started last week where I felt little flutters right above my pubic bone. Then over the last week, I have felt little pinches/flutters really low in my abdomen. There is nothing else that it could be. It is amazing knowing that I am feeling our little one moving around in there.

3) I think the morning sickness is 90% gone. All I have left is feeling nauseous when I don't eat soon enough, and early in the morning. Luckily I haven't thrown up in over a week.

4) My online "sister" from a trouble trying to conceive message board found out she was pregnant last week!!! I have been saying a little prayer for her, and keeping everything crossed till she can go to her ultrasound in mid-May. Congrats again sweetie!!!

We are so excited... We are planning on ordering our crib this weekend, since there is a 14-16 week delivery time. We are starting to design our nursery... if only I could decide what to paint the walls. Any ideas, let me know!

Oh, and one more update, I accepted a big promotion at work, I am now the Deputy lead of all of the Data Analysts. It means I am working a lot harder, and it will probably only be a temporary thing till I go on maternity leave in October. Its only the first week, so I haven't decided if I am crazy or excited yet. I have to say that it would be a lot easier if I hadn't been pregnant during this promotion, but I am strong, and really good at my job, so I'll make it!!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

14w6d... Update

Well I haven't updated in a while, because there isn't too much to update.

On Wednesday we had another OB appointment, and it went much better than the last appointment. I am down another couple pounds, which the doctor isn't concerned about at this point, but will probably be keeping an eye on. We heard the heartbeat nice and strong, right after the doppler went on my belly. I took the 1 hour glucose test, so we should know something by Monday. I am hoping all will be well, but honestly who knows. The drink wasn't so bad, its only the last couple gulps that make it taste like cough syrup.

This week while my all day morning sickness has gotten much better, I have now started involuntarily throwing up each morning either in the shower or while brushing my teeth. Its pretty nasty. Oh well I'll take it, because I feel a lot better after all of the bile is out of my stomach.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

13w6d... NT Results!

Hi everyone!

Brian and I got great news yesterday. The geneticist called from the group that we had our NT scan with. We were given the results from our NT scan blood test. We were told that between the ultrasound and the blood test that our risk for Down's syndrome and Triostomy 18 went down to 1 in 10,000 which is as low as the scale for this particular test goes. This is great news, not that we were really worried that anything would show, especially after the ultrasound results.

On a different note, the morning sickness is getting better, although is not completely gone yet... but the exhaustion is still around.

We have our next OB appointment this week, and I have the 1 hour glucose test on Wednesday, so I'll let you all know when I get the results from that.

Love to all!

Friday, April 4, 2008

12w5d... A moment to remember...

I'll keep this short, but I just wanted to remember the estimated due date of the baby that we lost back in August. I know that little angel is looking after our little one now, and that gives me comfort.

So if you have a moment, say a prayer for our little angel.

Love to all!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

12w3d... NT Scan!!!

Well we got to see our little one again!!! He/She was bouncing all over the place, it was crazy to watch, and amazing to know that our little one is perfectly healthy.

Ok, first of all, we went in today for an NT Scan. What is an NT Scan? Well here is a good description I found.
"This prenatal test (also called the NT or nuchal fold scan) can help your healthcare practitioner assess your baby's risk of having Down syndrome (DS) and some other chromosomal abnormalities as well as major congenital heart problems. The NT test uses ultrasound to measure the clear (translucent) space in the tissue at the back of your developing baby's neck. Babies with abnormalities tend to accumulate more fluid at the back of their neck during the first trimester, causing this clear space to be larger than average."

The NT fold is considered at a risky level when it measures anything above 2.5mm, well our little one measured in at 1.33mm so is considered low risk. What a relief! We also had a small blood test that will be combined with the ultrasound results to give us our risk levels. We should know the results to that in about a week.

Anyways, it was amazing to see how much this little one has grown in the past month. It is 5.5cm from head to rump at this point, which is about the size of a chapstick tube. I am pretty sure that this little one has Brian's chin. We saw its nose, and its stomach and its heart. I really am in awe about the miracle of life with this little one growing inside of me.

Brian and I have set up a gender poll on our family blog http://themclaughlinsblog.blogspot.com,
so if you are interested in guessing whether it is a boy or girl, make sure to vote before May 28th, because we are going to have a big ultrasound that morning to check all of the organs and we should find out the sex at that point.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

12w... Tons of updates!

Wow where to begin. Well I apologize for not updating lately, life has been kind of hectic.

Update #1: Brian's family now knows! The big news is officially out. We are starting to tell people at work and everything. Brian's family is incredibly excited for us, and couldn't be happier about having another grandchild coming soon. Everyone is guessing the sex and the name, but since we don't know the sex, and we aren't telling the names, we are keeping people in the dark once again.

Update #2: Gestationally we are in the 2nd trimester!!! The baby is fully formed! It has every organ, and everything it needs to be a little person. The second trimester consists of letting everything mature and continue to grow. The third trimester is mostly for adding fat before birth. We are so incredibly excited to have made it this far, it really feels like a dream.

Update #3: Well I broke down right before we went to Charlotte and invested in a couple of pairs of maternity pants. They must be the most comfortable pieces of clothing I have EVER owned. I keep asking myself why I didn't get some sooner, and I have to admit it was because I was afraid of something bad happening again. Well if the amount of morning sickness and exhaustion that I have had are any sign, this little one is doing just fine.

Update #4: We are looking forward to our NT Scan on Wednesday morning, we are certain everything will be wonderful. We are looking forward to seeing the little one again soon, and getting some beautiful pictures of him/or her.

As a side note, I just wanted to send my love to a fellow blogger and online friend, Schmoodle. She tragically lost her twins this week in her 23rd week due to a placental abruption. My heart really goes out to her, I was terribly heart broken for her when I heard. She is in my prayers.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

10w3d... First OB appointment.

Today was my first appointment with my OB office. It was.... ok. The first appointment at the practice I chose is always with the nurse practitioner. I DON'T like the nurse practitioner. I have a ton of things that I could go into with her... but I won't. I'll focus on the good parts of the visit. I have lost a somewhere between 3-8 pounds. I am going to get to change my prenatal vitamins, everything looks great with me.

Oh and we HEARD the heartbeat!!! It sounded just like a little train chugging along. It was wonderful and beautiful and amazing!!!!!!

As for the not great stuff, I had glucose in my urine sample, so between that and my current weight I have to do the one hour glucose test at my next appointment in one month. It is what it is...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

10w... My family knows!

Well one set of parents and siblings down, and one to go. I wish I had a better way to tell them, but we had invited them over last night for a big St. Patty's Day dinner, and we just told them. We had printed out copies of our ultrasound picture for them to have. They were so excited. My three sisters were so happy, and they were all coming up with little things that they could do for the nursery and for the baby. My Mom and Dad spent a good half hour trying to figure out what they should go by instead of Grandma and Grandpa, it was too cute.

Its funny because I am pretty sure Mom and Dad had an idea that we were pregnant. About a week after Brian and I found out, we saw them and my dad whispered to me that I was glowing, and later told my mom that I smelled different(very odd I know). He is pretty good about these things, and can pretty much tell whether someone is pregnant the moment it happens... its such a weird skill. Anyways, they have been nice enough to let us tell them on our own schedule after we knew everything was right with the little one.

Well we also called my brother and sister-in-law. They were happy for us, although I was kind of disappointed that they said that they knew what we were calling for because we never call them. Mind you we talk to them online quite often. Oh well I am not going to let it bother me. I also called my Grandma on my mom's side, and she was SOOOO excited for us. This will be her first great-grandchild, and she almost sounded giddy. While I was in Arizona last week I had told my other grandmother while I was visiting her in the hospital. She too was extra excited, and that is from a woman who is a great-great-grandmother three times over. This will be her 20th great-grandchild.

All in all it went really well, and we are looking forward to telling Brian's family this coming Friday when we go down there for Easter. We are so incredibly excited. We never got to tell them about the last one before we found out we were having a miscarriage, so it will be nice to surprise them with some awesome news.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

9w3d.... Baby's first business trip!

Well I am back from a business trip to Arizona. Lets just say it ended better than it started.

I have had a business trip scheduled for about a month for work. I didn't want to change any of my plans because I didn't want anyone at work to know. So I went...

Brian and I had tickets for Celtic Woman last Saturday night. Since the concert was so late, and I had an early morning flight on Sunday(not considering the time change), I took two naps during the day on Saturday. We thought that this would help me get through the concert, and make it through the early morning. Well we had a blast at the concert, and I came home and went straight to bed. The next morning we got up, and I was not feeling well at all, bad bad morning sickness. Well I made it through the drive to the airport, and still felt pretty sick. And after I got through security, I went to my gate, and then I had to go straight to the bathroom to throw up.... twice... ugh it was terrible. Well then I made it through my two flights on ginger ale and attempted sleep. I was still feeling ill by the time I got to Tucson. Well I tried to eat again... and promptly lost everything... for the entire day. I was in bad shape.... and all by myself. Well I decided to try to go to bed early to sleep off the sick and hopefully feel better in the morning. I slept 11.5 hours... and felt a little better...

Well I didn't throw up again the whole trip... but did feel queasy a few of the days. I came home today, and survived the flights. Its so good to be home...

I think I have lost several pounds between throwing up and having no desire to eat. I forgot to bring my prenatals with me on the trip, so I have missed three nights of them, but I'll start on them again tonight.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

8w4d... GRADUATION!!!!

We went to our very last fertility specialist appointment today, kind of bitter sweet since we have come to love everyone in that office. However, we wouldn't have been released if everything wasn't perfect with our little one.

We had our second ultrasound today, and that baby is so incredibly beautiful. Its amazing how much changes in just two weeks. We actually saw the little one wave its arms at us and move its head! The heartbeat was a very strong 178 beats per minute, which is absolutely wonderful. The little one measured exactly 8w4d, exactly where we expected it to be. Here are some pictures, you can easily see the head, body and arms and legs. The round circle is what is left of the yolk sac, it should be gone within the next week, and the placenta should take over completely.

When we left we got to finally make our first appointment with our OB's office. We will be seeing the nurse practitioner on March 19th, and then seeing one of eight other OB's on a rotating basis for each subsequent visit.

We were also given a referral for an NT scan for between 11-14 weeks. An NT scan is a very detailed ultrasound where they measure many things on the baby, to determine the risk for many possible genetic abnormalities. We scheduled that for April 2, we will be over 12 weeks at that point, and the baby will be much bigger at that time.

All in all it was a great appointment, and nothing but great news! As a thank you for the office, we brought in a box of muffins and cookies and a thank you note. They loved it! We have really become so close with them over the last 8-9 months, it was a little surreal knowing that we wouldn't see them again till we were showing off our little one in October.

Now we have to tell the families.... :-)
We are telling my parents at dinner on March 15th when they come over to our house to celebrate St. Patrick's day, and we are telling Brian's family while we are down in Charlotte for Easter. If anyone has a great idea for how we should tell them, leave me a comment or send me an email, we want to make this good.

Love to all!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

7w4d... Update

Hi everyone... I guess its been a while since I updated everyone. In the last 7 days, I have been dealing with my many symptoms, but I have also been falling more and more in love with this little one.

Let me start with symptoms...
1) Morning Sickness - I became really bad starting last week, it would last till around noon, and it would be bad. I won't go into too many details other than I was miserable... However good news I think I figured the proper combination of food and med timing to get the morning sickness to go away. Brian figured out that me taking my prenatal first thing in the morning was making me really ill, and I figured out that a high protein breakfast was the only breakfast that I should have whenever I need to take my meds.

2) Boobs... oye they are sore... Oh yeah and they have gotten BIG already. Ok, for those of you who know me, you know I am not a tiny girl. I am a size 18. Well I have already had to upgrade my bras already. In one month, I went from my normal size of 40D to 42DD... ugh. Oh well, I suppose they will only get bigger before this little one comes.

3) Tired... I could easily sleep 10 hours per night. I also get really tired after doing simple things.


Now for the falling in love part... Bri and I finally relaxed a lot after seeing the heartbeat a week ago. Now we can be seen talking to our little one, and making nursery plans... We are so in love with something we have never even seen. Our little raspberry(thats how big the baby is now) is going to be so incredibly loved. I can't wait to have him/or her here.

Love to all...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

6w 4d... We have a heart beat!!!!

Brian and I had the most beautiful day. Today we found out that we have one baby with a beautiful heartbeat. The baby measured 6w3d, which is perfect since we are supposed to be 6w4d. The heartbeat was 121 beats per minute. Here it is!!!



I was so nervous last night, I had a hard time sleeping. I can't even describe how beautiful that little flicker is when you see it for the first time. I held my breath when the u/s started, but as soon as I saw that there was something in the sac, I took a deep breath. Then when I saw that beautiful heartbeat... there were no words, only tears. I started bawling... with a big smile on my face. Brian even got misty eyed when he saw that heartbeat. The u/s tech that did our u/s, was a tech that had done a ton of our u/s during our months of treatment. Well, when I started crying, she started crying, and said she was so incredibly glad that she got to be the one to do our ultrasound. It was a good day!

So we go back on 3/06/08 (2 weeks from today) for another ultrasound, and we will probably "graduate" from our RE's office at that appointment. At that point we will call our OB and make an appointment for our normal OB visits.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

6w 3d...

Well, less than 24 hours to go before our ultrasound. I had the funniest dream last night. I dreamt that we went to our appointment, and they were just getting started on the ultrasound, and I remember being extra nervous. I remember they saw a sac, and were getting ready to zoom in on something in the sac, and then I woke up.... I never found out if everything was ok. I woke up a little paniced, because I was so ready to see what was in that sac. Well after using the bathroom (darn pg hormones) I fell back to sleep pretty quick, and the first thing I dreamt about was that beautiful heartbeat. All of that has to be a good sign, right?

I have a really good feeling about tomorrow, last time I was a little excited, and very scared, this time I am very excited and a little nervous. Assuming all goes well tomorrow, I'll post ultrasound pics tomorrow afternoon. If all doesn't go so well.... well I'll deal with that if I need to.

Who knew I could be so in love with a cartoon of what my baby could look like right now? I keep looking at my widget(see sidebar), and that little alien is the most beautiful thing I think I have ever seen. I can't wait to goo and gaa over a beautiful ultrasound picture.

Well if you can, send some prayers our way around 9:15 EST tomrorrow, and maybe some tonight to help us sleep. Although that hasn't been a problem lately, I have been crashing about 8pm, and getting up at 6am, 10 hours. We are very excited, and ready to see this little one.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

5w 6d...

Well.... as of tomorrow I have known about my pregnancy for two full weeks. I am so incredibly happy to have made it thorough this past week. Our last pregnancy never measured out of the 5w4d-5w6d range. I have a good feeling about this one though. Maybe after I see the heartbeat I'll start doing some belly pics... as scary as that is.

I haven't quite figured how whether I am finishing the 6th week today or starting the 6th week tomorrow... every site I look it up on has a different opinion. Well here is some info about what happens during the 6th week with our little one.

Your pregnancy: 6 weeks




How your baby's growing: This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

5w 2d.... Whole new two week wait.

Well, today I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Boy do I feel pregnant! Over the past few days my symptoms have gotten worse and worse. The two big symptoms are my morning sickness and my painful boobies. The morning sickness seems to be getting better so long as I have something to eat every couple hours. The boobs... well they are a different story. THEY HURT!!! No matter what I do or how I lay or what I wear, they are painful. I think they hurt less today because I have an extra cami that is tight over my chest, so the pressure is helping.

I can say I only had a tiny bit of m/s last time around, and my chest was never painful like this... I am thinking I may be in this pregnancy game for the long haul. I am beginning to believe that this is really going to happen.

As for the title of my post, well we had two weeks to wait from our last blood draw till our ultrasound. That two weeks is excruciating, because I just want to know everything is ok with our little one. I want to know that there is actually a baby in there, and that everything looks normal. The last time around our ultrasounds never measured above 5w6d, and there was never a yolk sac that could be measured. Last time around I think I knew that something wasn't right. I was far more nervous that I am now. Somehow I think this little one is going to stick!

Now... if only my patience and good feeling can hold out till our ultrasound next Thursday(2/21) when I will be 6w4d.

Friday, February 8, 2008

4w 5d... final blood test!

Well we had our third and final blood test today. My HCG levels went up to 1016. Thats a doubling time of 49.1 hours.... which is totally normal.

We have our first ultrasound scheduled for 02/21, 14 days from today... ah, another two week wait. I might go crazy! We should be 6w4d at that point, so we should see the heartbeat then.

I am excited and nervous all at the same time!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

4w 3d... Another Blood test

We had another blood test today to check my HCG levels. HCG should double every 48-72 hours early in a healthy pregnancy. Well my levels were 206 on Monday, and 519 today!!! Thats a doubling time of 36.01 hours! I am more than happy with that number. They asked that I come back in on Friday for a third and final draw, I should be over 1000 by that point.

Ah, symptoms... boy they are hitting me, even more than my last pregnancy. I have had morning sickness everyday so far. It isn't bad enough that I have gotten sick yet, but I have felt light headed, felt like gagging and felt generally nauseous. Generally it hits me from about when I wake up in the morning till just after lunch. I have found that eating on a regular schedule, and having a snack mid-morning really helps. Its just funny, because I seem to always feel nausea at work... which is tough to do when you are in meetings and trying to actually accomplish real work.

I do have to admit though I wouldn't trade any of my symptoms for anything... I'll gladly take them all knowing that I will finally have my little one this year.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Blood Test is in.... Still pregnant!

Well, I went in this morning for a Beta blood test to check my HCG levels(pregnancy hormone), and this early they like to see the number somewhere between 75-100, and ours came back at 206, which is extremely good for 4 weeks 1 day!!!!!!

This is all starting to feel pretty real, and even though we are still cautious, we are VERY excited, and feeling good about our chances.

Thanks for all of the well wishes! Now lets just pray for this one to stick!!!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

14 dpiui... Tested this morning...

Hi everyone,

So Brian and I tested this morning... it was POSITIVE!!! We are pregnant! We are tentatively due October 12, 2008 and are exactly 4 weeks along.

We are so incredibly excited, although we are still cautious until we see that heartbeat, so if you know me in person, PLEASE DO NOT TELL ANYONE FOR NOW!

I'll update you on the HCG levels after I get the results from my beta blood test tomorrow morning, but for now, we are pregnant!!!

The positive seems to explain my nausea and food aversions over the past few days.

Friday, February 1, 2008

12 dpiui

Well its 12 days past my IUI... I am so scared to test, but I will test on Sunday morning. This holding pattern kind of sucks, and I am so very anxious.

Anyways, I finished my 80 hours yesterday, so I took today off to be with Brian. We are going to a friends PJ party tomorrow, and then Brian is having his first freelance studio photo shoot on Sunday before the Super Bowl. Oh some of you may not know, my husband is an incredible photographer, I am really in awe of his abilities.

Anyways, sorry this is so short, I am trying to keep my mind off of testing, which is kinda easy since the only test I have in the house are OPKs.

Love to all, and all of us will know by the end of this weekend whether or not this cycle worked.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

9dpiui... Hope...

Hope is a very funny thing when you are experiencing infertility.

On the one hand you want nothing more that to have unlimited hope to be graced with a child. This hope is what keeps you going everyday, through ever early morning doctor's appointment, through every shot, through mood swings and teenage acne. This hope is what makes you a stronger person.

On the other hand, hope is what causes each negative result to tear that much further through your heart. If you have hope, then you lull yourself into this false sense of security where you convince yourself that every little twinge or ache is a real symptom, when in reality it never was. This hope eats at your resolve, and tears your heart into pieces bit by bit.

I often catch myself when I want to tell people that I have hope that a current cycle will work, and have begun telling people that well, "Hope is a tricky thing..." which is usually followed by someone telling me that I should always have hope... and me agreeing with them, but then there is always that little part of hope that taunts... that makes you hate it... thats the part I want to be able to explain to them, but in reality, most people would never understand.

This time around, I "feel" like I should have hope, everything went beautifully, every med worked as it should(even if it was a little slower than I would have liked) and every procedure was better than it ever has been. I just don't know if I can bring myself to actually say that I have hope... it almost feels like a jinx at this point. I find myself rationalizing that "I had hope all of those other times, and nothing worked, and when it did, it eventually failed anyways. So why even begin to hope?"

So I find myself still several days from testing, and just less than a week from having a blood test, wondering if I should take a chance on hope. I want so badly for this bad dream to end with a wonderful reality of being pregnant, and having a healthy and beautiful baby. I have faith that it will eventually happen for us, but I sometimes wonder what will be the toll of all of this on us.

After the m/c we stopped going to church, I was angry with God, and the church didn't support me in the way I would have hoped. I was haunted by the phrase "Its all in God's plan...", I was haunted by the thought that maybe, God didn't want me to be a mother. I was angry with the church for everything that it had ever given or not given me... I was just angry. So I didn't go to church. Instead... I had chats with God... I tried to come to grips with everything that had happened, and I searched for hope... Now exactly 5 months after my m/c, this was the first cycle that I actually felt at peace with everything that happened, and I think that this is not only because of incredibly talented doctors, and a wonderfully supportive husband and family, but also a bit because of God.

So, beyond my better judgment, and everything that my head is telling me, I have decided to have hope. I am oddly at peace with that decision, in fact, its the first time in a long time that I don't feel like spitting out the word hope, but singing it. Its funny ever since I decided that I would have hope, it has grown, it has blossomed, and it makes me feel good inside.

Now lets just hope that "HOPE" doesn't let me down this time around...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

7dpiui... Good weekend!

Well this weekend was good. On Friday I went over to my parents house, and my Mom showed me how to sew, and on Saturday I went to my younger sisters concert. My wonderful husband showed up at the beginning of the concert, after an hour and a half delay, and an eight hour flight. Then we headed home, and we have been spending some quality time together while he has been getting over the jet-lag.

As for symptoms, not a whole lot to report, other than I have had a couple more bad cramping episodes, but they pass pretty quick. Also the acne comes and goes, but I am surviving. Still keeping fingers crossed... Only a week to go...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

4dpiui DH coming home early!!!

Oh I am so excited! Brian was able to shorten his trip, he will be coming home on Saturday rather than Tuesday! What a wonderful surprise!

Ah, as for me, I had a raging headache yesterday, and some lower abdominal cramping. Not sure if those are symptoms, but again, its kind of early for all of that.

Well I am breaking out the pineapple tonight, since it is 4DPO, and going to have some each of the next 8 days. Will it help? Who knows, but its one more thing that "could" possibly help, and it gives me something to think about in the 2WW.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

3dpiui (3 days past IUI)

I am trying to be better about using all the acronyms, I realize not all of the people that read my blog understand the online message board lingo.

As for me... well I am doing good. I had about 6 hours of bad abdominal cramps on Monday night, and I am not sure what caused them, however (this might be too much information) I am pretty sure it was constipation rather than anything bad with the ovaries. All is well now though, and I was back to my normal work out routine last night.

Its WAY too early to have any symptoms, however trust me I will post all sorts of phantom symptoms here, just because I always have a few. Its crazy living your life in 2 week increments, there is always something to be waiting for. Waiting to ovulate, then waiting to test, its a vicious cycle.

Oh yesterday I got my assigned "TTTC sister"! I joined a group of women who only know each other online to become a sister to another person from the same group. Its a great way to provide one-on-one support. Anyways, my sister is just outside London, how exciting!

I have a feeling that this will be Brian and my year for good things to happen, and I am so ready.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

IUI this morning

Well this morning was my IUI.... #3. I think it went really well, and now all I have to do is wait.

Dh's sample was incredibly awesome, so no worries there. As for me I freaked out a bit when I realized that I had forgotten my purse at home. See you have to show your drivers license before they will do the insemination, and well mine was an hour away at home. I thought, "Well this is it, everything else went so well, of course I had to screw everything up." Well I explained what happened to the person that we dropped DH's sample off with, and he asked someone who said it should be just fine. I still felt terrible, and had a small breakdown in the car while we were waiting for the IUI. Then I realized that I had my work badges in the car, and they were a picture badge, government issued, so it should be something. Thats when I calmed down a lot.

Well the IUI went perfectly. The doc was able to do it with no pain at all, and without any problems like needing a larger catheter, or anything. After that I laid there for a few minutes, and then we were done. I felt myself ovulate during lunch... and I am praying that the third time is the charm.

DH heads to England tomorrow for a week, so I'll be all on my own.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Its a big day!!!

So today turns out to be a very big day! Today is my wonderful husbands 29th birthday! We are going to celebrate today by TRIGGERING!!!!!! I had my follie check this morning and the follie was a 19.5 which is definitely mature! So as long as my bloodwork comes back good (which it should) then I will trigger tonight between 6pm and midnight.

Right now my IUI is scheduled for Sunday morning at 9:30am. We do have to go to Rockville, because it is a weekend, but thats ok, Brian and I are early risers anyways. At least it will be before Brian has to head out of town on travel!!! What a relief!

Just as an update to yesterday, they called me and had me give myself a double injection last night to try to jump start the follicle. Also, I drank A LOT more water than I had been drinking, and that seemed to help. I think the blood work nurses will be glad not to see me for a while since my veins have been needle shy for the past couple days.

Happy Birthday Brian!!! Wish us luck on triggering!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Hum.... news... good? bad? I don't know...

Well I went in for my follicle check this morning, and well, there has been absolutely no change in my one mature follicle. I don't know if thats good or bad other than it isn't quite mature enough for us to trigger and have our IUI. On the other hand, my lining is now at 8.4mm, which is awesome.

I am trying to be positive with all of this, and think about the fact that if we trigger tomorrow, that It will be Brian's birthday, but I can't help to wonder if there is something not right about the way my body is responding to the meds. I guess I'll find out later today if I am going to need another dose of meds, or if they are going to up my meds to try to break the 18mm mark. I am starting to think that this is a doomed cycle. It would be nice to have just one cycle where NOTHING goes wrong, that has yet to happen.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sweet Relief!

Well I had another follie check this morning, and there was nothing but good news. My lining has increased to 7.7mm, which is great! I also have three maturing follicles all on my right side. I have a 17.6mm, and two that are about 13.5mm. This is AWESOME news!!! I will probably have to take one more dose of meds tonight, and I go in for another follie check in the morning, but I am so very relieved that there is finally progress to be had.

Looks like we are probably going to trigger either tomorrow night, or on Friday which is DH's 29th birthday!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

8 days of shots down...

Well I go in tomorrow for another follie check after two more nights of injections. This should be interesting, I am going to be a realist. I am really hoping for a thicker lining(just any amount thicker), and for reasonable growth on each of my follicles, I would really like 3 mm each, but I don't know if that is going to happen, but I am going to hope for it.

I wanted to thank those of you who have been reading my blog. It has been incredibly wonderful knowing that I have a group of women out there (some who know me, and some who don't) that give me strength even when I don't feel like I have hope anymore. It means more than you know.

Well, on to a happy note. I am not one of those IF women who can't be around babies, in fact I crave my friends children. I love holding them, and playing with them. If even for just a moment, I can pretend that it is my child, and I feel happy. I love children, and they hav made me incredibly happy lately. So for those of you who have shared your beautiful children with me lately, please know how incredibly grateful I am for that. Make sure to hug and kiss your little ones tonight, and be incredibly thankful for what you have. I know my time will come and DH and I will be able to share our little one with you all.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Update from Follie check

Yup, at last two more nights of injections. My nurse doesn't think I should worry about my lining YET... she says my follies are no where near mature yet, so the lining doesn't need to be thick yet.

We go back on Wednesday morning for yet another check. God, I hope that we have growth otherwise we are going to have a hard time making an IUI by Monday morning. I am praying that DH will not have to move his trip, because he has adjusted his schedule so many times for all of this IF stuff already.

I could use as many good follicle wishes as you can offer up. Thanks!

Frusterated with my body....

Today is CD 9... and I have done 6 days of injections, you would think that I would have more progress that I do. As it turns out I have only two growing follicles, one at 10mm, and one at 12mm, I had hoped they would be bigger by now, only 2mm in three days for the one follicle seems to be way slow development to me, but what do I know. They have to be 18 or above to be considered mature and ready for ovulation.

Oh and another kicker, my lining is THINNER than it was on CD3 or CD6.... what the hell does that mean. Days are ticking by, and I am getting nervous that DH will be out of town by the time I am ready for an IUI... seriously, this is really depressing.

Well, I guess all I can do is just talk to my nurse when she calls this afternoon, and find out if I need to start Estrace now rather than waiting till it is too late. I am beginning to wonder if the thin lining has been my problem all along. DH was trying to cheer me up this morning by saying, maybe if thats the problem, they will switch us back to Clomid, and take care of the lining issue just with meds. I tried to explain to him, that that would be a step backwards, and doctors really try to only move forwards. I know he is trying to be optimistic... I should be too, but it is hard to be optimistic when I know the crap my body likes to pull, just to make life interesting.

I just want to be pregnant.... to hold my own child... to know that all of this isn't in vain.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

CD7... Update

Well, yesterday I had a follicle check after three days of Bravelle injections. I only really had one measurable follicle at 9.8 mm, several others smaller, and my lining was at 6.5 mm.

I suppose this is good, I really don't know what to expect from an all injectable cycle. I was told to come back on Monday morning and to continue with daily shots of Bravelle. I guess at that point we will see how far along I am.

If you can say a little prayer for me, because we kind of have a hard time limit of the IUI. DH will be heading out of town next Monday afternoon (1/21). I just hope that we are ready by that point.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

CD4 One shot down...

I did my first shot of the cycle last night. It made me think about how surreal this whole process has been. When you are growing up, you never expect to have to give yourself shots everyday in order to have a baby. Yet, after 19 months, I don't think twice about sticking a needle in myself... very surreal.

On a happy note, DH is not going to Europe today, its postponed until 1/21! I am guessing we will have the IUI by that point, and we will be in the 2WW. That would be nice.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

CD3 No Cysts!!!

Well, its official, they found no cysts at my appointment this morning! This means that I will start 75iu of Bravelle this evening, and continue that for the next three days. I will have my first follicle check on Friday morning. The monitoring nurse said that for a person my age with unexplained IF, I will probably have injections for 8-10 days, before triggering for my IUI.

Even better news is that my DH who was planning on going to England tomorrow till next Tuesday might not even be going now. That would be great. He hasn't missed a single doctors appointment or monitoring appointment yet. He has been there for every shot, every pill, and I will be very excited if his business trip gets canceled. Mind you I think I would be just fine going to the appointments, and doing the shots on my own, but its always better to know that my loving husband will be there to kiss every injection site, and hold my hand through ever ultrasound. He is my rock, and I don't think I would be able to get through all of this without him.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Woo Hoo... CD1!

This is how you know you are dealing with infertility. You actually get excited every time you see AF after a BFN. It means you can start again. Well today is CD1, which means that my CD3 ultrasound will be on Tuesday morning. Hear we go!

Friday, January 4, 2008

Our plan for the next cycle

Well, after our BFN on Wednesday, our RE nurse called and told us that Dr. Mottla wanted to switch us to an all indictable medication cycle. What does this mean? Well, it means that I get the pleasure of doing almost 12 days of injections in a row, and I will have to be going into the doctor almost every other day. Should be interesting... Our nurse also said she also had someone who was going to donate 10 vials of medicine to us for this cycle. Thats over $500 in savings. I would really like to know who this is and hug them. I get stressed over the money, but I suppose it could be a lot worse, at least we have some insurance coverage. The only thing that we have to pay out of pocket is our injectable meds and our copays.

Now if only my period would show. I have been off Estrace and Prometrium since Wednesday morning, and based on previous cycles I should be starting tomorrow, but I haven't even started to spot yet, so we will have to see. If all goes well, we could very well have our IUI on my DH's birthday Jan. 18th.

Send me some AF Dust!

Bad things to say to an infertile...

"Just Relax..."
"Just take a vacation"
"You should just adopt"

I am part of an online community of women that I REALLY respect that are all dealing with infertility in one way or another. I have been part of this particular group since its inception almost exactly a year ago. The strength and love from this group of girls has really gotten me through the past 19 months. Thanks, TTTC Girls from The Nest.

Anyways, the reason for this post... so this idiot decided it would be a good idea to come onto a board of women dealing infertility, and tell us all that our infertility was caused by birth control pills, and that Natural Family Planning would have saved us from infertility and miscarriages. Wow... just wow... On top of everything else she said all of this stating that she was a Catholic. I am a Catholic, AND I am infertile. I am fully aware of the churches stand on assisted reproduction.

What a freaking Idiot!!!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy anniversary big brother!

Well still getting the hang of this Blogging thing.

I wanted to wish my big brother a Happy 4th Anniversary.

Back to Work...

Well... the holidays are over, we are taking our tree down this weekend, and I am back at work. Work, work work....

Over the holidays I interviewed for a new job, something I really thought I would be perfect for, however after the interview, I came to realize that it really was not something I was ready to start doing this early in my career, I decided it would need to wait till later. So I don't think I am going to go in for the second interview. I don't know if any amount of money would make me want to do that particular work right now.

On another note, my weight is out of control, and I am really trying to figure out what to do about it. I went 3 months exercising at Curves, and didn't lose a pound. In the last week, I gained 8. I know it very well could be AF getting ready to arrive, but really how is that any way to encourage motivation. I really hate my body... I can't lose weight, and I can't have a baby.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

So very sad....

One of my online friends(I read her blog often) had triplets two months ago. The two girls have been fairly well, but her son has had numerous health issues. Today he passed away in his mothers' arms. Jack will always be with us. If you have a moment say a prayer for little Jack and for his whole family.

My Wonderful Husband

Well on top of my negative test today, DH had a visit to a doctor to get his blood pressure looked at. Well, turns out it was good we went, he is on meds now to help bring the pressure down. They did an EKG, and he hadn't caused heart damage yet, however, it could have been bad soon.

Its official IUI#2.... Negative...

Wow what a cheery start to this blog... Well I guess I have to start somewhere. I just got the call from the REs office with the news that our 2nd IUI cycle failed.

Since you may not know my yet, let me fill you in a little about my IF journey so far. DH and I were married in June 2004. We stopped BCP in June 2006 and pretty much started trying. After numerous extremely long cycles and no BFP, we consulted my OB/GYN who said we should just be patient and keep trying, but if we REALLY felt the urge to get a second opinion, we could call an RE after the 1 year mark. By this point it was April 2007, and I knew something was wrong. As soon as the one year mark rolled by, I called the insurance and made an appointment with Dr. Gilbert Mottla at Shady Grove Fertility in Annapolis, MD. That first appointment was such a relief, and it felt good to have a plan for tests, and procedures that we needed in order to diagnose the problem.

One week later, and a day before my 25th birthday, BFP... we were over the moon excited! The betas were perfect 489, 1254, and 5390, but nothing could have prepared us for the u/s. At the first u/s they didn't see anything except a sac, thinking it was too early, the doc asked us to come in a week later. At this point, I knew it would turn out bad. After two more weeks and a continually empty sac, I opted for a D&C. We were crushed... the only thing that picked us up was knowing that we already had a plan in place at SGFC-Annapolis. I spent a full month on BCP, just resting, and letting my body recover from the miscarriage. The following month I was on BCP again, but we did all of our testing. Everything came back perfect, including DH's numbers!

In November I had my first medicated IUI cycle. I was put on 50mg of Clomid CD3-7, and then 150iu of Bravelle on CD9. After my first follie check, I had to go back 4 more times(including 4 more shots of Bravelle) before I could trigger. We went to SGFC-Rockville for the IUI, and then we waited. Two weeks later, BFN...

In December I started my second medicated IUI cycle. The protocol was the same as the previous month, however at my first follie check (CD11) my lining was only 3mm, so I was placed on Estrace until BFP or AF. This time around I had 1 beautiful follicle the first check, so I was happy that the meds had worked! We went to SGFC - Annapolis for IUI#2, and then we left for vacation. We spent two weeks with family relaxing. I ate almost 5 pineapples, and took Estrace and prometrium vaginally twice a day, and yet as you already know, today... BFN.

This is my journey so far... you will be around for the rest.

First Post!

Well I decided to start the new year with a fresh start... I will be blogging my infertility journey from now on. Hopefully someone decides to read this, but otherwise it will be a nice journal of my thoughts and journey.